Jealousy - The Criminal inside Every Human Being

Bura Jo Dekhan Main Chala, Bura Naa Milya Koye

Jo Munn Khoja Apnaa, To Mujhse Bura Naa Koye

This time I have chosen one of the most controversial topics for myself. From last few months I was thinking to write on this topic, in fact I did write on it in September 2011 but I had to scrape it because at the end I was remain confused about my actual views on Jealousy. This time I have done my full analysis & writing about the same. Finally I found above mentioned Doha from the “Great Sant Kabir” suitable to start the post.

Let’s start with “The Criminal Inside”. Yes we may have criminal inside us in various forms, “Jealousy” is one of its form. Other can be “Our Thought”, “Our Mentality”, “Our Act”, “Our Views”, “Our Greediness”, “Our Selfishness”, “Our Ego” and “Our Arrogant” etc.

Few people have the capability to identify these criminals before it comes outside & kill them inside only, but few can’t. Few don’t find anything wrong & few know the Dirty Picture behind it.  

I remembered one day in a Lunch table, I had a very good discussion with my colleague on the topic how we can deal with the “Criminal inside Us”.

She was in the opinion that whatever we are doing or thinking, we should be true to ourselves & we should be able to face ourselves in front of Mirror”.

I was quite impressed with the thought. Think about the situation when you are in front of mirror, find yourself guilty & can’t make an eye contact with your own image. This fear will help you to kill the criminal inside before you act. Not a bad idea indeed. Respect the thought.

But in another hand I was not satisfied with the idea fully, as if you are able to find out by yourself what is wrong & what is right in each & every situation then you are the god. Because for each situation there can be different opinion of individuals. Something which is wrong for you may be right for other group of people & something you think right might be not appreciated by group another people & we will be arrogant if we will say that we know everything what is wrong & what is right for us. Some time we can be selfish while thinking about good or bad & in that case you will be able to stand in front of mirror even though you must have wrong.

But there is no solution of “Selfishness”. When decisions made selfishly then there is no question of feel guilty while facing your own image in front of mirror.

I have my own way of dealing with “The Criminal Inside”. According to me it’s difficult for an individual to decide whether something is right or wrong in all situations. In some situations he or she may be wrong. I am following the concept of “Invisible Power” around us called “God”. That invisible power is looking after us for all our activities & if we do something unethical then he has the punishment for us by any ways. For me this fear is sufficient to stop me from any wrongdoing. Believe me I don’t have the capacity to tell lie. In situations where I have to say lie either I will be keep quit or avoid making any comment then to say lie because I fear to God, I have to give answer to him. My thought seems spiritual but this concept of “Invisible Power” always helps me to stop from any unethical work.

According to me if an individual is mature enough to decide what is wrong & right in all the situations then he or she is nothing but a “God”.

“Jealousy” one of the form of Criminal Inside us according to me no human being can be unaffected by this.

I had a multiple mind set for “Jealousy”. Previously I wanted to project its positive side but after my further analysis, if we have to generalize “Jealousy” then it can’t be good in any ways.

“Jealousy is something when you hurt yourself on other’s success”.

The most favourable factors which influences Jealousy is I, Me & Myself à

1.      “I” for “Ego” à Ego the better word to differentiate the meaning of words “I” & “We”. My friend Vidhan told me that generally people failed to differentiate the “Self Respect” & “Ego”. When it comes to your “Self Respect” then it’s all together a different situations & there is no question of “I”. But when it comes to “Ego” then in that case there must be “I” working behind us. Satisfying “Self Respect” may not be wrong but satisfying “Ego” is always unethical. Showing your limitation by the mean of hurting your “Ego” while others is celebrating means you have invited “Jealousy”.

In that case you will say “How can He or She make it possible?”

2.      “Me” for “Selfishness” à Selfishness is another factor which influences “Jealousy”. When you stop others to become successful even though you may not be affected from that success. Any act done selfishly to hurt other's success is also the symptoms of “Jealousy”.

In that case you will say “Only Me, No One Else”.

3.      “Myself” for “Arrogance” à When you have achieved something & now someone else is also seems to achieve the same without hurting your achievement. Still your “Arrogance” hurting yourself for others achievement showing the biggest criminal inside you as “Jealousy”. This is the worst factor to influence “Jealousy”.

In that case you will say “No one other than me can do it”.

But is that the only factors responsible for a person to being Jealous?

I don’t think so...!!!!

                                                                                                                       

People don’t responsible for their Jealousy always. It’s not your Ego, Selfishness or Arrogance always produces Jealousy.

As per my experience, person without any Ego, Selfishness & Arrogance can also caught by Jealousy.... L

It’s very difficult for a human being to avoid certain situations where unwillingly you have to be Jealous & the situations can be à

1.      You have been Insulted à When successful people making fun of yours when you are unsuccessful. Even though you are happy for them.

2.      You have been Compared à When people starting comparing your failure with others success. Even though you have not thought for the same.

3.      You have been Ignored à When people start ignoring you for others & the reason for that is not your behaviour.

4.      You feel yourself Alone à Some time in your bad time you find yourself alone when other busy in enjoying their success.

5.      You find yourself Helpless à In the race of life you find others going fast & find yourself helpless as you don’t have resources like others.

6.      Your Success became Unsung à When your success have been dominated by others success. You feel good for others success but still your success became unsung.

There are lots of situations we faced when we unintentionally caught by “Criminal inside us” called “Jealousy”. Certain situations can’t be avoidable by any mean. We found ourselves guilty for being Jealous from others.

But in any ways Jealousy is Jealousy & should not be tolerated. And the real humanity has been tested when you became successful to kill this Jealousy before it start showing its negative impact outside the world.

Jealousy if misused can damage everything & if used as motivational factor without hurting others to influence self for work harder to do better than before then you can achieve milestones of great success like anything.

Jealousy in one side can influence “Healthy Competition” which makes both the affected parties successful in faster speed but in other hand Jealousy can influence “Destructive Competition” which can destroy everything in just one go.

Chalti chakki dekh kar, diya kabira roye

Do paatan ke bich mein, sabut bacha na koye

“Jealousy – The Criminal inside Every Human Being” when started reflecting in your attitude then it may results in following 2 type of attitude à

1.       Jealousy with Negative Attitude: This is the situation when we became negative after being jealous. Negative in sense, we actually can’t digest someone’s success. “We wanted that person to go down”.  Such attitude should be avoided. This attitude reflects in our behaviour. Nobody can appreciate this & we may damage our image with this attitude. It is obvious that we can’t get success with this attitude but this is not good in the ground of humanity as well. People with negative attitude from jealousy always try to pull down the opponent rather try to step up by doing something productive. Anything which is to done for damaging someone’s success with wrong way can’t be right & this attitude due to jealousy can’t be accepted in any case.

“If you have developed negative attitude for someone because of jealousy then it’s never been good for you but if someone else has developed negative attitude towards you due to jealousy then that means you are growing & you can use it as tonic to boost up your success  by always giving positive responses to such people with results  & this can be a great “Motivation” for us to go up.

2.       Jealousy with Positive Attitude: Now the positive attitude from jealousy. Jealousy is so negative then how we can derive a positive attitude from this. I think we can. One thing we must understand is that you can never utilise someone else success. What will only help us is the success achieved by our own.  If you feel jealous with someone with his or her success then positive attitude can “Motivate” you to speed up yourself to catch his or her level of success or may be go beyond that. But we should also take care that by speeding up our self, we should not damage success of our opponent for our success, means we should avoid leg pulling. This is called positive attitude from jealousy. Without harming any one you have been motivated to work hard to get success due to jealousy, not a bad move indeed as per me.

“According to me jealousy results in positive attitude always good for both the concerning parties. Like if you jealous with someone & you take it positively. Trying to catch or go beyond him or her, it is obvious that your opponent will also try to increase his or her speed & because of that both will get certain level of success before actual time for sure without hurting anyone.”

When you say following to yourself after being jealous with someone, “If one man can do another can do” or “If you can do then why can’t I” or “I will show the world that I can also do that” etc showing your positive attitude because that will never damage other’s success. But it became negative when you says “No one can be better than me” or “Let me see how you can better than me” or “How you can do that if I can’t” etc.

In certain cases you may harm the opponent’s success with either of the attitude you developed, negative or positive due to jealousy. In these kinds of cases it is better that we should be “Neutral in your Act & thought”. In that case you become Jealous  with someone success but in other side you found yourself satisfied by saying you were not right person for this success or you don’t deserve it. You don’t want to hurt others & less interested to act on it.

My Last Words for Jealousy à

Kabira Khada Bazaar Mein, Mange Sabki Khair

Na Kahu Se Dosti, Na Kahu Se Bair

Jealousy is cancer which should be destroyed in its initial stage but “Jealousy is a Criminal inside Every Human Being” & some time it’s unavoidable. As a good human being we should always search for a better exit from this. Either by killing it with self meditation or use it as Motivational factor by creating better atmosphere for all to grow with healthy competition.

I have faced Jealousy inside me various times in my life, some time due to the imbalance of our society based on poverty & richness, some time I felt Ignored due to lack of social image in terms of sophisticated rich life style, some time due to our poor condition has been insulted by egoistic rich people, sometime when I found my helplessness when double standard people enjoying better social life.

“I would like to say thanks to those who involved in all above either directly or indirectly to make me tough, make me strong, motivate me to achieve something which we couldn’t even dream for  & give me power create positive attitude in myself.”

There were few incidents when my Ego, Selfishness & Arrogance became the reason of my Jealousy. I always found myself guilty whenever I think for those incidents.

“I would like to say thanks to God for punishing me whenever my Ego, Selfishness & Arrogance dominant The Humanity & Ethics. Thank you god for showing my limitations while Criminal inside me at its worst & pull me down whenever required.”

And finally the end of my philosophical & spiritual thought related to Jealousy with the one greater Doha from “Sant Kabir” à

Jab Tun Aaya Jagat Mein, Log Hanse Tu Roye

Aise Karni Na Kari, Pache Hanse Sab Koye

Thanks a lot for reading... Take care & all the best...Hope you all not bored while reading that J

regards,

rupesh