Critic Vs Cynic - A Thin Line Difference of Intentions

Before starting let me ask you do you have any Critic or Cynic in your life. If you do not have any critic or cynic that means you need to introspect. To achieve extra ordinary success it is very much important that you should have bunch of people either criticise you or always being cynical to you.

And if you already have many such people around you means you are definitely doing something extra ordinary. Your personality makes people think about you and comment about you.

We have to understand that in this competitive world where people are so busy running around to make money and  become successful overnight, striving day & night to help their family have good life and secured future by saving good amount of money for their future generations too. People are busy to meet up their own basic necessities. Believe me in this pace of cut throat competition there is hardly any time for a person to take proper rest.

Despite of having such restless life, imagine if any person is taking some of his personal time for you to criticize you or is cynical about you means that you are doing exceptionally well (Except if you are a criminal). Such Person/People will guide you towards the right direction by giving you some guidance or motivating you that you are all set to break tradition to get success.

There is one of the best fit Doha from Sant Kabir in this context à

निंदक नियरे राखिए, ऑंगन कुटी छवाय, बिन पानी, साबुन बिना, निर्मल करे सुभाय।

“Ninadak Niyare Rakhiye, Angan Kuti Chavay, Bin Pani, Sabun Bina, Nirmal Kare Subhay”

(जो हमारी निंदा करता है, उसे अपने अधिकाधिक पास ही रखना चाहिए। वह तो बिना साबुन और पानी के हमारी कमियां बता कर हमारे स्वभाव को साफ़ करता है)

(The one who condemns/Criticise us shall be kept as close as possible. Cos' without soap and water he cleanses our nature by telling us our drawbacks)

If we do search meaning of Critic & Cynic in Google à

Critic - a person who judges the merits of literary or artistic works, especially one who does so professionally.

Cynic - a person who believes that people are motivated purely by self-interest rather than acting for honorable or unselfish reasons.

  

As already said it is good to have Critic or Cynic in our life, but on the other hand it is also very important to understand the difference between Critic & Cynic.We should be able to cope up with both type of people. Any mistake in understanding this type of people may hurt us more than them.

There is a very thin line of difference between Critic & Cynic. Most of the time it is very difficult to differentiate between critic & cynic. In the first place both looks like enemy to you however Critic from heart would want you to grow and succeed whereas a Cynic would not like you to prosper. Hence the thin line of difference between Critic & Cynic lies in their intentions. Hence consider Critic as positive people and Cynic as negative people. But both are important to you and for your success.

Why Important: Both Critic & Cynic have some negative for us. So why is it so important to know the difference between Critic & Cynic. However as the Post Title itself suggest that there is a thin line of difference between Critic & Cynic and the difference is their Intentions. 

While Critic has positive intentions for you but Cynic has extremely opposite and negative intentions. Critic wants you to succeed whereas Cynic never wants you to be successful. Critic are most likely to be straight forward and give you the feedback contrary Cynic might be happy doing back biting & smiling in front of you. In our best time i.e., when we are near to success if we failed to understand as to whom to listen (Critic) and whom to avoid (Cynic) we might get away from success which we might have almost achieved. Both Critic & Cynic is important in our life to keep us grounded to earth (Down to Earth) and stops us from being Over-Confident and more importantly stops us from unnecessary Show-Off on small achievements and made us more focused on bigger goals.  

Reading the Mind Set (Intention): Life is full of well-wishers. Nobody comes directly to us & tells I hate you. However not all well-wishers actually want you to succeed from their heart. Some might distract you from success without your knowledge. So it is very important to read the Mind Set or Intentions and to know well in advance that whom to listen and whom to avoid. It is not an easy task but not an impossible one too. It is all about experience. Use all your senses including the most important one i.e., The common-sense J  

Modus-Operandi: What are the various method adopted by Critic & Cynic to give Negative Feedback. To know the answer lets us understand who becomes Critic & who becomes Cynic.

·         Critics are more professional. They either know the subject or they are your well-wisher and guide/comment you based on their experiences. They will be straight forward to tell you about your negatives and do not try to look goody-goody. Take the example of Your Teacher, Parent, Supervisor, Best Friend, Team Mate/Captain/Leader, Experts in field etc.

·         Cynic might or might not be professional but will try to look good in front of you and try to distract you from the right decision. They will not tell you about your mistakes but encourage you when they know that you are in a wrong direction. They will do more back biting about you. People with vested interest who don’t want you to succeed though it will not help them. The example of people that I have mentioned above for critic might some-time become cynic when they build some sort of jealousy about you or your success and might hurt their own prospect although you are much better than them they still wish that they do not have competition from your end. Sometime Cynic people might not exactly hurt you by being goody-goody but might hurt you by insulting you or making fun of you or your objective. People with negative intentions will try to put you down by hook or by crook.

Our Perception: Most of the time we fail to identify the positive or the negative intentions in  a criticism and in the process we might hurt the people who wish good for us & might like the people who is our hidden enemy. The perception about people giving us negative feedback can never be so good until you know the positive intentions of the people. We always perceived Critic/Cynic as bottlenecks. People who understand the importance of Critic/Cynic in their life and use all their senses including common sense to use Critic/Cynic for their benefit and make best use of them with right perception.  

Mistakes to Avoid: Over-Energized/Over-Confident people generally fail to understand the benefit of Critic/Cynic People in their life. They think that they are flaw-less. They think no body can questions their work. Whatever they do they is always right. No one can point out at them. All these are symptoms/signs of failure (Might be successful in short term goals but cannot achieve the best or long term/sustainable success). However there are some mistakes to Avoid à

·         Avoid to have too many Good-Goody People

·         Avoid looking at Critic/Cynic as Enemy

·         Avoid justifying yourself every now & then

·         Avoid hating people who tried to show you the mirror

How to Deal: There is no set rule book to deal with Critic/Cynic. It all comes from experience. However there might be some tricks to deal with such people for our benefit à

·         Understand the intentions. And make the right use.

·         Do not be blindly believe the feedback from the goody-goody people. It might be for distracting you from main goal.

·         Critic will be happier if you succeed. So listen to them. Correct your-self whenever required.

·         Cynic will be a cynic and nothing can stop them. However people who do back biting/Buttering are the people who will make sure that all your senses including the common-sense stop functioning when it comes to them. They will try to hypnotize you by making a pseudo favors. Only your success can stop them. So have patience and wait till you succeed.

·         Respect both Critic & Cynic.

·         There are two type of Cynic people one who hide the wrong intentions by being goody-goody in-front of you and second who do not hesitate to show their hate for you. Second type of people less dangerous then the first type.

·         Cynic likes to hear bad news from you. And critic will try to help you to overcome from failure.

·         To avoid more damage from Cynic let them be happy with your failure/mistakes. There is no harm to share your failure/mistakes. You might not get any solution but at least it will let them make some holiday plans.

·         Do not be distracted by the Cynical People Let the hidden enemy be comfortable looking at your mistakes so that they can stop back-biting 
·         Remember Cynical are good if they do not hesitate to let you know that they hate you.

·         Do not get demotivated by having Critic/Cynic in your life. That means you are doing something extra ordinary (Except you are a criminal, Criminals are Criminals).

·         Do not try to identify negative pointes of your Critic/Cynic. Everyone has negative point. Sometime we resist to change for good when the feedback comes from Critic/Cynic because you have found some other non-relevant negative point.

·         Be happy and always happy if you have been criticized.

·         And never let your mistakes to be hidden inside you. Let people know you have done mistake. Nothing wrong in it. Probably you might get right direction for your goal if you share it.

·         Do not waste your energy in hiding your mistake. It will be a self-disaster. You are fooling yourself.

·         Be receptive to the feedback. However take action based on your best judgment.

·         Life is too long let’s have the mental strength to face small failure. It is not necessary to be successful all the time.

Examples:

There are many example of Critic à

·         Teacher/Student Relationship – We might hate our teachers throughout our life but they are our true Critics. They want us to be successful

·         Parent/Child Relationship – If you have parent who always have a problem with you then you’re lucky to have the best critic who will be there with you always.

·         Classmate/Colleague cum Competitor – The best critic who do not tell you upfront but show you the mirror by giving healthy competition.

·         Supervisor/Leader – They are the people who criticize you to see you step in their place one day.

·         Democracy & Politicians – Politician, those in power and those who don’t are best critic of each other. Healthy criticism is the sign of healthy democracy.

·         Best Friends – Your best friend are those who become your best friend after tried and tested for many years for many scenarios. They become your best critic as well as they don’t hesitate to give your negative and upfront feedback.

·         Husband/Wife – Husband & Wife are the mirror image of each other in the society. They are the best critic for each other. They never wanted to see their counterpart to fail.  

·         Society – A well cultured society is the best critic. They will not let you down.

Example for Cynic à All the example of criticism also applicable for Cynicism if resulted in

·         Unhealthy Competition

·         Fight for Power with unethical Practice

·         Vested Interest

·         Jealousy resulted in unethical practice

·         You know someone is good but don’t want him/her to succeed

  

I am happy that from my childhood I have so many Critic & Cynic. Many a times people were so offensive and made so many personal comments nothing to do with topic. However all this had helped me to grow and evolve successfully through out my life both personally and professionally which sometimes seemed impossible and a far dream for me even after facing so many hindrance like coming out from a very poor family based out in rural India and with minimum or non availability of basic required infrastructure for growth and education.

I would like to thanks everyone who had criticized me and had given me warm regards, specially who are cynic of mine. 

"All is well if the end is well". 

You all have helped me to improve in my past & I wish you will continue to provide me with your same priceless service through out my entire future and help me to improve day in and  day out for  my entire life.

I am the person who made mistake and may make mistakes in my future life. Do criticise me whenever required.  

Thanks a lot for reading... Take care & all the best...Hope you all are not bored while reading the blog. Keep Reading..... J

***Blog Edited by My Life.. My Wife.. Lathika Jain.

regards,

rupesh