Monday, 20 June 2011

My Initial Days “Picture Abhi Baki Hai Mere Dost”

Ohhh... My 1st post is live on web from last few days... I can’t say it’s a success but number of feedback I am getting in terms of both areas where I can improve & how much they like the content. These feedbacks are sufficient for me to start writing my 2nd post as soon as possible.

I would like to mention various feedbacks I am getting before I start. One of the feedbacks was common by all, which is my English. Grammatical mistakes in sentence making. The area which even I think I need improvement. But this is the thing which cannot improve over a night, for this I will start reading books, which may help me to learn how to write in proper English.

Second suggestion is from Rohit Gaharwar, he is from Delhi, one of my best colleagues I have met in PwC. He has given me an excellent idea for making my next post more interesting. He said I should include some external content as story along with my personal story so that people find it more interesting while reading & they can correlate my post with their surroundings. Excellent boss you rocked thanks a ton... If you notice I have include “Picture Abhi Baki Hai Mere Dost” along with my real title to incorporate Rohit’s recommendations. I will use this theme to write my initial days.

Third valuable suggestion came from Mr. Yogesh Shahu, he is from my native place Barghat (M.P.), now in USA from last few years. He said it’s good that you appreciate people in your blog with their qualities. But when you want to highlights their negative points then in that case you have to be polite. Remember you are writing this is in public domain. He was also impressed with my dare to write my real life in public domain but he was tensed that how people will take this, this may harm my image as well. Thanks bhaiya for your suggestion. One of the best I can get. You are true well wishers of mine.

 I would like to thank few more well wishers of mine, this list include Neetu Surywanshi, Shireen Khan, Prasad lad for their valuable feedback. Special thank to Prasad lad for sharing “Different kind of People in ur life...” content from my blog in his FB. Thanks Rohit Verma, Nirmit, Yogesh Bhaiya & Veena Nair for sharing my blog link to their FB. I would also like to thanks BD Ballani from Delhi, my colleague in PwC for special appreciation mail for the same, Atika Agrawal for calling me & appreciate my 1st post, Satyen Chouksey for dedicating special shayri. Special thanks to Bharath Sir for reading my post & liking it. Last but not the least thanks to all to whom I have missed out.

I am releasing this post on 20th June 2011, 28th Wedding Anniversary of my parents. One of the special occasions, I am busy in my current project but still couldn’t stop myself to give some time to write this blog for releasing on 20th June.

I still remember when we (me & my sister) were in school; “26th January & 15th August” was very special for us. It was like festival. Mummy papa always started preparation 1 day before, well washed, cleaned & ironed dress, don’t forgot to polish our footwear, everything up to date as we are to attend any family function. Getup early in the morning on National Days with Doordarshan & make sure that we should be ready on time & reached school before Unfurling the National Flag. And we were learning importance of these days in our life. We should proud to be Indian & we are proud to be Indian.

“Happy Wedding Anniversary to Mummy Papa... This post is dedicated to both you...”

Let’s start the My Initial Days “Picture Abhi Baki Hai Mere Dost”. I will try to make it sort unlike my 1st blog which was competitively big then a normal blog post.

One day one person with a Police constable with a paper in his hand was visiting to each shop of barghat, also visited to our shop. In the paper it was written that he is travelling & lost his all money & he doesn’t have money to reach his home. My papa contributes for him as like others & after he left he said I would rather prefer to sell my Silver ring in my finger than doing this... I was very young that time; I was just sitting beside him. Meet my father Mr. Shantilal Jain born in the year 1959.

Barghat is a very small place; only few garment shops were there in 90ies, we were one of them but our shop was comparatively small. But as we belong to the group so it was obvious that we are known to each other. Me & my Mummy went for shopping to one of the biggest garment shop in Barghat, I think it somewhere around 1995, and we finished our shopping, went to the bill counter. Bill amount has been told to us. Mummy found that she had few hundred Rupees short with her. She told to the shop owner that she will send the money once reached home. Shop owner denied... J J J... “Without waiting for second She removed her gold bangles from her hand & said keep it with you.. I am sending you Money...” Everyone around us was just watching us. Meet my Mummy Mrs. Manju Lata Shantilal Jain born in the year 1964.

Recently my sister had small accident. She was travelling from Barghat to Hyderabad. She preferred to continue her journey for Hyderabad than to go back to Barghat. After she reached Hyderabad she realized that she had a serious injury on her foot. She went to the doctor had x-ray & result was a minor fracture.  Doctor said there is no need of plaster but has given a bandage. Every one suggested she had to go for plaster & should not take risk. As she was alone in Hyderabad, it was not feasible for her to have plaster in Hyderabad. I booked her Bus Ticket AC Sleeper. Bus time was 8.30 PM. She reached well before in time by 30 Min. Bus came. She looked @ bus sitting arrangements & assumed that this is not the bus which I have booked the ticket. She did skip the bus. After bus went from the stop, she called me up & asks me that what kind of bus was that in which I have booked the ticket. I explained him & she loudly said “Arey Meri wo hi bus thi... Bhaiya tu phone rakh.. mere ko bus ka peecha kerna padega...”. She took an auto & started towards next bus stop. She didn’t aware where the bus was. I started searching for the mobile number of Bus Conductor. Till the I would get his number, she called me after 30 min & said “Bhaiya Mere Ko Bus Mil Gayi... J. She is successful in any case. Meet my sister Miss Ruchi Shantilal Jain born in 1986.

And me... J, I started writing blog to impress a person who falls under 1st category of people in my life “People to whom you personally want to impress”. (Refer my 1st post “An Introduction..... BORN poor IS GOOD (Part 1)”). I don’t know whether I am successful to impress “her” or not but yes by this I have started doing something, which is being appreciated by many people, many of them told me that they are waiting for my next blog J J J J... See what I told you.. This 1st category of people can change you... no matter you are successful to impress them or not but by doing that you can achieve something extraordinary which you may never thought of. Meet I, me & myself - Rupesh Shantilal Jain born in 1984.

Barghat is a Nagar Panchayat in Dist. – Seoni, Madhya Pradesh. Madhya Pradesh had a very tough time during 1993 to 2003. Life in barghat was not easy those days. Government was not even able to provide 2 hour of electricity supply in a day. Timings were also not fixed for these 2 hours, most of the time it was in any of the time after 12 o’clock night & before 6 o’clock... Hell hell hell.... One day hundreds of female citizens of Barghat visited to electricity office of Barghat with black paint & bangles. And you can imagine what they must have done... This is Barghat... united always for a social cause.... J J J J

If I am writing my Initial days & forgot to mention Ashar Family in Barghat then this will be unfair. They are backbone for us in Barghat, without them we were nothing in Barghat. From last 28 years they have given their place to us on rent both our house & shop. Apart from this, this is the family which always make sure that we don’t struggle much. Let me introduce Ashar Family, first Mr. Kishor Kumar Ashar (Uncle), specially known as “Papa Bhai” in Barghat. He is one of the well know personality & one of the biggest BJP leader & social worker, second Mrs. Kalindi Kishor Kumar Ashar (Aunty), I love food cooked by her. Finally their children, my friends & brothers Mr. Amit Kishor Kumar Ashar & Mr. Nikunj Kishor Kumar Ashar, from my childhood we are together & still together. One thing which can describe this family better is that I have never seen any houses apart from them, where all people get same level of excellent hospitality, no matter people visited is poor or rich. As I have spent my most of the time of childhood in their house with Nikunj-Amit I have seen this very closely & more often. Great Family Great People.

When I was 2 year old, Nikunj-Amit started going to school & as I was there at their home most of the time, aunty ji used to sent me along with them to school, so that I should not bore without Nikunj-Amit @ home. After few days, School principal noticed that I am enjoying the school, approached to my father & asked to get my admission formalities done for KG1. I was 2.5 year old at that time, 1 year younger than normal age of 3.5 years for admission in school. Hurreyyyy 1 year up from the beginning itself, what a start sir ji...

I was an average student by marks in my school days. One of the biggest reasons was that I was “Logical” in my studies because of my father but not “Legible”. Due to my poor marks my parents always pray that I should at least complete my graduation (minimum B.Sc.). Even though I was a poor performer by marks & we were not financial strong, my parents always wished that me & my sister must be well educated. They worked harder for that but still it was very difficult. When I was in 8th standard, it was doubtful that we would have sufficient money for my study expenses for 9th standard. Remember this is for quality education otherwise we have free education facilities from government...

Here I would like to mention one of my favourite dialogs from Movie “Om Shanti Omà

Shahrukh Khan as Om Kapoor at the time of Award ceremony on his Award Speech:


Ladies & Gentlement.... Itni Sidhhat Se Maine Tumhe Paane ki Koshish Ki Hai... Ki Har Zarre Ne Mujhe Tumse Milane Ki Sazish Ki Hai... Kehte Hai Agar Kisi Cheej Ko Dil Se Chaho... To Puri Kayanaat Use Tumse Milane Ki Koshish Me Lag Jaati Hai.. Aap Sab Ne Mujhe Meri Chahat Se Mila Diya.. Thanks... Thanks Very much... I Feel Like The King Of The World..

 Aaj Iss Baat Ka Bhi Yakeen Ho Gaya.. Kee.. Hamaari Filmo Ki Tarah Hamaari Jindagi Me Bhi.. End Tak Sab Kuch Thik Ho Hi Jaat Hai.. Happy is Ending.. Or Agar Thik Naa Ho.. To Wo “The End” Nahi Hai Dost... "Picture... Abhi Baki Hai Mere Dost..."

Till 6th standard, I haven’t touched even 60% marks. 1st time in 7th standard I got 74% marks, for this I would like to give full credit to “Mr. Prem Shrivastava” for his excellent guidance as teacher & to the healthy competition which I have never faced before.... “Ye ladkiya bhi naa.... Izzat ki baat hai bhai... he he he he he he... lolzzzzzzz”. In 8th standard first time I appeared for board examination & back again to my normal track with 52% marks. What a big fall. Izzat ki to wat lag gayi... Lolzzzzz...”. Anyways everything happens for some good. This setback was must required to do away with my over confidence that build due to  my 7th standard result . After 8th results I never studied to become topper rather happy to be an average student.

Did I mention over confident... yes one of the mental state of us which results in failure for 90% time.

In my 1st blog I have mentioned various categories of people & their contribution for your success & failure. In this blog I would like to mention various mental states which contribute for your success & failure.


Following are the mental state which we may be in à

1.       Demotivated: In this state you always think nothing is possible. May be you must have good objective but you always think you cannot achieve it. Success percentage is Zero. In this state even a small bottleneck looks like a big struggle.

2.       Neutral: Neutral mental state always works for very short term objective, for example you are working for today. You want to just pass today not even bother about tomorrow. In that you have nothing to lose as you have not big objective in your life. No gain, no loss.

3.       Confident: In this state we always face every struggle without much pain. Our objective is very clear no matter whether it is short term or long term. We know what is wrong, what is right. We never overlook our mistakes. We always in learning mind set. We respect our competitors & never ignore their strengths. More importantly we believe in our self. In this mental state 90% of time we get success.

4.       Over Confident: This is the killer of success most of the time. I always failed to achieve my objective whenever I was in this mental state. We generally ignore our mistakes in this state. We even ignore our competitors’ strength. We think we are perfect, so no requirement of learning. We over believe in our self in this mental state. In this mental state 10% of time we get success.

Mental states are not fixed for life; one cannot be judged us as particular type of people who has same mental state for the life time. Our mental state varies from situation to situation. Depends upon, for which objective we are working.

Nobody can tell you with perfection your current mental state other than yourself. As if you are confident then demotivated person will always projects you as over confident & in the same time over confident person will project you as demotivated. It is better that we should always aware that, in which mental state we falls in particular situation.

Over confidence is a biggest setback for me which always strike after a big success. Most of the time failure comes to my life just because of my over confident. It is better that we should divide our long term objective in small parts so that success & failure also come is small forms & we should not become over confident suddenly after a success.

I am accepting that I am over confident on certain areas like for example while discussion some time I give less importance to other's view, which is not right indeed. I am trying to work on the same. I am confident in certain aspects like my work & my objectives in my life. I am neutral on sophisticated living standards made by rich society; I generally don’t follow these standards. And I found myself demotivated when it comes to impress the girls... lolzzzzzzz.. J J J J...


Lets back to the story...

From 9th I got “Mr. Rakesh Tiwari” as my mentor.  Along with guidance for our subjects like English, science & maths, he was the first teacher who started working on my writing. He actually visited to my house various time & talked to my parents about me & my career. He was actually impressed with my other talents except my writing. I would like to mention one of the incidents which I cannot forgot in my life. When I was in 9th, one day I reached his home for tuition 1 hour before as I was not aware of changes in tuition timing changes, I reached early & during that time 10th students were studying Mathematics Theorems. Tiwari sir allowed me to sitting with them. After end of the class he confidently told to all 10th students by pointing his finger to me that “This boy can repeat everything tomorrow without any revision whatever I taught you today. OMG... what is this sir.. You have so much confidence on me... & I, who love challenges came early intentionally on next day without any revision & made his words true.. J J J J...

In spite of all good and bad in life, I was able to manage my studies well. Till 6th standard as very poor student & then in 7th with extraordinary marks followed by biggest fall in my marks in 8th, I still going on atleast to complete my graduation & post graduation if possible, but nothing was happening good in our family.. My parents were somehow managing the family’s day to day requirements. My parents started doing Pico-Fall in sarees which was giving some 1 or 2 rupees per saree in early 90’s. I will not go in details but we were not having good capital for our garment business. Whatever material we were getting from whole seller they are charging us more than 10% from the actual price from what they were charging to other retailers because we were taking months to repay their money. Because of this our customer also came to us just because we were providing credit facility to them.

I was very young but understanding everything, nothing was going right with our family. Where our rich society members & rich relatives were earning lacs of rupees every month, we were struggling to earn some 3000 to 5000 rupees per month.

In the year 1998, I was sitting in my classroom with my Friend Naveen Awadhiya & I said to him, Yaar Naveen, how we will manage our family when we get married, “Paise kahan se aayenge yaar.....” He said “aa jayenge yaar.... Don’t worry....”

I was not satisfied with the answer; I had to search for permanent answer of my question “Paise kaha se Aayenge...?” & the answer was I have to start earning money... I have to give my hands to my papa for his business, also I have to think about some other alternatives, something which can give additional source of earning other than our shop.... But I was just 14 year old... It was not that much easy... What to do...?
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"Picture... Abhi Baki Hai Mere Dost... J J J J J"


Take care & all the best...Hope you all not bored while reading that J


regards,
rupesh